selfishness

Selfishness. I've been thinking about it recently. 

The oxford dictionary defines Selfish as :

adjective (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure

For a long time,  I thought of selfish as meaning doing something for your own profit or pleasure. Even if you considered other people, and chose the option that least harmed others, it's still selfish because ultimately you're doing it for you. When we help others, when we offer guidance, when we do a good deed we FEEL GOOD. Do we do those things because we know it will make us feel good, or because we know it will make someone else feel good? I think, for most people it's both. So it is both selfish and unselfish. I know that I enjoy seeing others happy. But when I am the cause of their happiness (either through giving them something, or giving them my company) it's that little bit sweeter. Because I myself have caused that. Because I am part of that. Because I am connected. I think all we really want is connection, all of us. We want it for us.

In the end I don't think that is 'selfish'.  I've come to realize, that selfishness means doing something that raises your own happiness while lowering another's.Even then, that's not always wrong. For example, say a friend wants to see you, but already had plans to stay in with a nice movie which you were in the mood for. Staying in instead of seeing them benefits you, but probably disappoints them a little. But that';s life, a good friend will understand. Sometimes you need to do things for you. When this becomes repetitive, OR if you actually hurt people for your pleasure, I think that's when it can get destructive. But in the end, we are all selfish to a degree, it's human nature. At the same time we want to connect and share and give. It's a balance.

Post numero uno

I've decided to start this blog just now. Well not NOW now. Like 30 mins ago from now.(last edit). When you read this is will be way back in the past.

But yeah, I've decided to do it because i'm a pathological procrastinator. Though I think that is seen in too much of a negative light. When you procrastinate you're enjoying yourself, you're doing something. Maybe its not for work, or to better your life, or yourself, but it's living in the moment and getting carried away with something (the internet/forums/music for me). And that's an integral part of life. 

But at the same time, I do realize i do this too much, and would like to actually have more passions and achievement. Some of these include : playing the piano/ukulele, practicing German, learning Spanish, doing more art, learning to dance, and blogging.. These are things I can get lost into if I actually start first, and actually better me/make me more interesting and fulfilled and talented. Now, I also think about life/the universe/humans a lot (i sounds like a robot when I say humans. Don't worry I'm not a robot. Yet. ) and I've been told I should write stuff down to share. Plus I want to get some thoughts down for futrue reference. I quite like  and enjoy thinking about these things; things with no answers, perhaps because of the curiosity of the human mind. Being curious is enjoyable for most of us, and another important part of life I think.  It's nice to also think about my own behavior, actions, and the human mind because even though i strongly believe in living and enjoying life without over thinking it, it is interesting/enjoyable for me to think about this stuff , and helps me navigate confusing aspects of myself, so I can better know myself, and deal with situations in a better/different way next time. (And hopefully offer advice/understanding for anyone going through similar stuff).

Thank you for reading thus far, my imaginary (and possibly non-existent) audience. I'd like to emphasise this blog is going to be mostly subjective ; my thoughts and feelings, that may differ from yours. But are ( hope)  interesting to read, or may help others thinking about these things. I hope you enjoy this blog, and maybe take something from it. :-)

Peace out and One Love.